LP Welcome to LovePoetry's Reflections! LP

Solitude is a party
  Where I invite myself
     To dine on "implication,"
       To drink "significance."

Thus I fill my separate need
  And I must confess...
     There could not be a better host
        Nor a more intriguing guest.

LovePoetry has created this feature so people can share their experiences of loss, anguish and distress accompanying an upheaval in their lives. It is hoped that such an exchange of feelings and experiences will help in dealing with the problems we all share when we become vulnerable by seeking and giving that precious commodity identified as LOVE...

Featured Selection from: Love And Death

One night, I was at a party and most of the people came back to my house afterward. There was a man there, with a smile I will never forget. We ended up talking the night away. We all fell asleep and I woke up with a sudden sense of fear. I looked over and this man named Adam was having a seizure; he was an epileptic. After that night, we began dating and were inseparable. He was 20 and I was 19. He was just about 2 months shy of his 21st birthday when he passed away.

I had known Adam for about 3 months with those three months filled with so much love and respect and compassion that it felt like 3 years. We had dated for those 3 months and were already talking about getting married. He had my heart and soul like no one has ever had before. He was my angel sent from heaven.

I left to Illinois to go visit family for Mother’s Day and I talked to him the night I left. He called me to tell me he loved me with all his heart. That was the last time I ever talked to him. He passed away that night from an epileptic seizure.

The last thing I was said was, “I will call you tomorrow.” and “I love you.” I wish I had told him I loved him just a few more times. There were things that were definitely left unsaid. I never got to say good bye or kiss him one last time. I never got to tell him exactly what he had meant to me and the things he had done for me emotionally. He had filled a void in my heart. He showed me how to live life and smile just a little bit more and longer. I will be forever grateful to him for the things he showed me.

After Adam died, I cried for about a month straight. People would always ask me why I was so upset and all I could say is, “I loved him and he loved me like no other.” My family was devastated for me because they knew how much I loved him and how much he meant to me. They kinda’ just let me cry when I needed to cry and lent me a shoulder when I needed one. It’s been 3 months since he has passed away and I still deal with the grief every day. He was the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with, so it’s hard. He would have been 21 this month and it sure is hard to know that he was taken so young. I take comfort in the LovePoetry poem Little Angel by Brittany Marie Timm.

It has been three months since he died and I deal with the pain of it every day. But when I think about him being in heaven, watching over me and smiling, it makes me smile just that much more. Sometimes the pain gets very hard to deal with, but I know he was here for me for a reason and he was taken for another. I promised him I would love him until the day I die and there is no way I could break that promise. There will be another, but no one will be able to take his place. Thank you Adam for loving me!

Deal with your pain the way you know how. There is no right or wrong way, but always remember it will eventually be okay.

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