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Waiting for the day to be together
by Silent Tears

He is a boyfriend whom I met during high school but has since then been enlisted in the NAVY

We've known each other for 5 years but have been in a long distance relationship for 4 years.

He is stationed in the NAVY in Washington and I'm stuck here in Wyoming. I also have plans to remain in school although at times it can be pretty hard - I've had to take a year off to regain some of my emotional stability.

With things as they are, even he has no idea even when his next date for leave is. He said that he'd find a place somewhere that I could move in with him but he's not gotten back to me on the progress of his search. He's discussed marriage with me but ahead of time I suggested we try living together before then. I've also been tying up what I have left here - I have a few classes left and I want to at least graduate with an AA before the possibility of moving in with him.

For most of the relationship, my own defenses kicked in and I became somewhat distant. He wasn't communicating with me much so I kind of also assumed that it wasn't worth wasting time over and pretty much had very little to almost no contact with him. When he came back during Christmas we discussed that our relationship may be falling apart so we had to compromise. Since I've become emotionally distant I decided to break that barrier and allow myself to cry when I was sad and lonely and be angry when I disagreed with him not being here. I'm naturally a very emotional person at heart but to be away for so long has practiacally killed me from the inside out - it's almost as if I have to learn everything over from the beginning. The poem I felt matched my current situation would be Forever I'll Wait by ITSme

Since even he doesn't know his next leave date I'd estimate probably during the summer. He's already given me the heads up that he won't be home the next Christmas 2007. As far as living with him, closing the distance, it's really my decision that stands in the way since I want to finish school here and after graduation consider moving in with him. I'm just hoping things go well so that the dream of us finally being together will come true.

As before, communication was lacking on both sides so I've decided that even though he can't find the time or just assumes I don't want to hear what he has to say for fear of upsetting me that I'd stay in touch. I've written letters to him and made a habit of starting a 'journal' to let him still be a part of my life even though he's far away. I also started to email him if I have a problem that can't wait and I'm working on getting his number to keep our phone dates (I'm also investing in a phone card so I don't run up the bill). He has my number but so far has been terrible with keeping his word to call.

Even though the world seems like it's falling down around you, never lose hope. There is always a light amidst the darkness. Just follow your heart and let it guide you to where you want to be.


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