Why must you continue to torment my mind
with memories that leave a sour taste in my mouth--
of the warmth in your smile
I no longer see,
or the softness in your lips
I no longer kiss.
Yesterday's bony fingers
grip tightly around my neck
and squeeze
as I choke and gasp for air--
But all I can breathe in 
is your scent
and my stomach begins to churn.
Each passing glance
breaks my sanity
as you pretend we are strangers
when we were so much more...
Tangled legs and fevered kisses
sear my soul with their memory.
I hate you
I need you
I miss you
I want you
I don't know what I want--
I wish you'd come crawling back 
down on your knees,
shamed by the pain you have caused me.
I wish you'd beg and plead
so I could coldly look you in the eye,
then turn away--
hurt you the way you hurt me...
But you won't.
I know you won't 
and I am constantly fooling myself 
by wishing you will--
living a lie--
God, how I hate those lies on your lips!
Sweet deceptions and denials
of what we both knew
yet were afraid to admit.
You will never come crawling back...
because I'm still crawling away.