You know that saying: 
"My heart skips a beat every time I?m with you or hear you."
Well, it?s true for how I feel about you.

My heart is racing a million miles per hour.
I?m mad, crazy in love with you.
I?ve always been, throughout all of these years.
You, forever, I want to devour.
I?ve never stopped loving you.
Even when we parted... I kept a part of you every step I took,
Never once forgetting about you.

You were and are a permanent figment in my heart
Even though I knew things could never work.
I did try to forget you
But somehow you kept appearing in my thoughts, in my dreams.
For you I use to shred streams
Now I shred streams for the man I married in between.

I feel like such a bad person and 
I know I am- for still having the feelings I do for you 
And not for the man I married.
A part of my heart you?ve always carried.
You?ve never given it back to me
So how could I ever give my heart fully to him, 
When I don?t have it to give...

The life I live right now is not how I pictured I?d live.
I never pictured I?d marry a man who is so awesome 
And who loves me so dear.
A man who I didn?t feel the same way for, not even close nor near.
I do love him, I?m just not "In Love" anymore.
It went away and I don?t know how to get it back.

A lot of it has to do with the romance & the passion that we lack
With you we never lost that- we always had passion,
We always had conversation & things in common to talk about.
He & I are complete opposites...
That was my initial doubt when I first married him.

So, why did I marry a guy that I had doubts about?  
Ahhhh, I want to shout!!
I hate feeling this way, I hate living a lie, I am a good person, 
I just don?t know how to let him go.
I don?t want to hurt him.
He loves me so much, God please help me through this.

To fall back in love with that man I married
Would be so great, God I wish...
Please help me get over my first love 
And move on to what?s been right in front of me all along.
The man I married- the one I?m doing wrong.