Find Myself
What's happing here I find myself thinking.
Am I floating, or am I sinking?
Sometimes a smile, sometimes a frown.
My feelings for him flip upside down.
Every now and then I get a big smile,
then sticking with him seems all worth-while.
But there are those times when he makes me feel
like I shouldn't be there,
but it's no big deal.
Because I know somewhere deep down inside
he cares about me, so I tell my pride.
With a tear in my eye I sit back and stare,
as he calmly surrvives without a worry or care.
If I'm there, I'm there.
If I'm not, I'm not.
It doesn't really matter and that hurts a lot.
Sometimes I wonder what I could do
to make him hold me and say, "I love you."
No matter how hard I struggle, still I am haunted
by needing to be needed
or wanting to be wanted.
So I'll just keep on going day by day,
trying to find the courage to stand up and say,
"I am somebody. I finally realized."
The answer seemed so far
when it was right in front of my eyes.
You know you're wrong, I can make do.
Without your occasional "Hello's"
I don't need you.
When you know that what we had was great,
you can come back to me.
But I'm not gonna wait.
I refuse to be pushed around any more.
I'm not a piece of property or anybody's bore.
I know I'll tell him someday or somehow.
But how can I stand without a doubt
and tell him, "I love you more than life itself,
but I'm leaving you now to find myself."